Maybe you saw this in the news last week. A husband, fed up with his wife saying "no" to sex, kept an Excel spreadsheet of all the excuses she gave him over a six-week period of time. Oh my word! Maybe your first reaction was thinking it was funny, but it struck me very differently.
I was appalled at this story for so many reasons, and maybe not for the reasons you may think.
The very first thing that popped into my mind was 1 Corinthians 13:5 "...love does not keep a record of wrongs." It's bad enough that we keep mental records of what our spouse does wrong---we sure don't need to be writing it down in black and white and saving it to our hard drives!! It truly hurt my heart for this couple. He was just waiting for her mess up, and that is a tough way for a wife to live in a marriage.
But more than that, I felt bad for the husband in this story, because his wife is clearly not honoring him. She is failing to offer her body to him in the Biblical, submissive way that a wife should. I know the word "submissive" brings lots of high-strung reactions from some women, but please know this: God is very clear about our bodies belonging to our husbands in marriage. (See Colossians 3:8 and 1 Peter 3:1.) This couple is clearly using sex as a weapon, and that can be such a tough road to travel.
Obviously, if communication is going well in your marriage, saying "yes" is not hard to do. Our husbands deserve for us to love them more than anyone else does. We need to be their biggest fan! They are a gift from God to us, and we are called to honor and love them--and they, us--including giving them the affection and attention they need and desire, without making excuses.
Leave the spreadsheets to the accountants and just go love your spouse!
"Love does not demand its
own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and
will hardly even notice when others do it wrong." 1 Corinthians 13: 5 (TLB)
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